A Day Off

The sun shines brightly outside the window as I sat alone, unhurried and placidly in front of my computer. Can any one outdo the sun in its faithfulness and consistency? It never has to take a day off.

It’s only Tuesday and I already needed to take a break from my work. I asked myself, what is wrong with me? Perhaps it’s the age. I’m getting old. Or maybe it’s being away from home. Or is it just because I’m a loser and a quitter?

I just want a day without having to experience disrespect from my students, or having to look and act like a fool while trying to teach a science lesson in the midst of chaos. At this time, I’m sure there’s not much difference to how my students behave in the classroom. But at least I am not there to witness it.

A school official once said that if a classroom is in disarray and there’s no strong behavior management it’s the teachers’ fault. But what if the kids are old enough to choose what they want to do with their life and refuse to listen to anyone not even to their parents? Is it still the teacher’s fault? And what if when they hear on the PA system that if they violate school rules they will be suspended but the teachers will be held liable? When they are bigger and taller and meaner than me can I do anything to keep them from doing what they want? No.

School ma’am would be a more fitting title than being called a teacher. If one would just go to school and act as a nanny or be called a ma’am, she has fulfilled her title. But for a teacher to just go to school talk to the wall and not care, it’s a failure. It’s like the sun failing to fulfill its role in photosynthesis. Futile.

Maybe tomorrow it’ll be better. Maybe by then I’ll be strong enough to be a teacher... once more.